Cleaning 101: How to Properly Wash Dishes

Let’s face it: dishes are the uninvited guests of adulthood. But fear not! With these pro tips, you’ll turn this chore into a zen ritual (or at least avoid crusty forks). Here’s how to conquer both handwashing *and* dishwashers, plus drying like a pro.

Method 1: Handwashing (For When Your Dishwasher is Just a Cabinet)

1. Scrape First, Ask Questions Later

Toss leftovers into the trash (or your dog’s mouth, no judgment). Stuck-on food? Pretend it’s a fossil and attack it with a scrub brush. Pro tip: Let stubborn bits soak in warm water for 5 minutes—patience is a dishwashing virtue.

2. Bubble Bath Time

Fill one sink with hot, soapy water (Dawn is your friend) and another with clean hot water for rinsing. No second sink? Use a bowl. No bowl? *Sigh.* Improvise. The soapy water should look like a jacuzzi for your mugs.

3. Wash Order: Cleanest to Dirtiest

Start with glasses (they’re delicate divas), then move to plates, bowls, and finally the greasy pans that witnessed last night’s bacon frenzy. This keeps your water from turning into a swamp.

4. Scrub-a-Dub-Dub

Use a sponge, brush, or that loofah you’ll never admit you own. Scrub inside, outside, and under rims (where mystery gunk lurks). For non-stick pans, be gentle—no steel wool tantrums!

5. Rinse Like You Mean It

Dip dishes into the rinse water or blast them under the faucet. Soap residue = sad coffee. Imagine you’re power-washing a tiny car. Vroom.

6. Refresh the Water

If your sink starts resembling a murky pond, swap it out. Your dishes deserve better.

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Method 2: Dishwasher (AKA The Lazy Genius’s Best Friend)

1. Scrape, Don’t Pre-Wash

Modern dishwashers eat stuck-on food for breakfast. Just scrape off chunks and let the machine handle the rest. Your water bill (and your sanity) will thank you.

2. Load Like a Tetris Champion

• Top rack: Cups, glasses, and plastic containers (upside down, please—no swimming pools).

• Bottom rack: Plates (facing the center), bowls, and pots.

• Utensils: Mix them in the basket to avoid spoon cuddling. Forks and knives? Handle-down for safety, unless you enjoy surprise stab wounds.

Avoid overcrowding—dishes need personal space too.

3. Detergent Drama

Use pods, powder, or gel. Skip the dish soap (unless you want a bubble apocalypse).

4. Cycle Smarts

Pick the right setting: Heavy for lasagna pans, Eco for lightly dirty dishes (it’s like yoga for your dishwasher), or Quick when you need wine glasses STAT.

5. Salt and Rinse Aid? Maybe!

If you have hard water, these extras prevent spots. Think of them as vitamins for your dishwasher.

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Drying: The Grand Finale

By Hand:

- Grab a clean, dry towel (microfiber = MVP). Air-drying is also fine—just prop dishes upright so they don’t collect puddles like rainwater buckets.

Dishwasher Drying:

- Use the heated dry cycle if available. Crack the door open post-cycle to let steam escape (it’s the dishwasher’s version of catching its breath).

Pro Tip: Shake off excess water before drying. No one likes a surprise splash to the face.

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And there you have it! Whether you’re a hands-on scrubber or a dishwasher devotee, your dishes will sparkle like they’re auditioning for a soap commercial. Now go forth and conquer that sink—you’ve got this!

*(P.S. If all else fails, paper plates exist. We won’t tell.)*